Selfishness and Self-Sufficiency

©2008, RK Silipo. All rights reserved.

Note to a friend:

Self sufficiency is selfish, in that it denies friends the opportunity to care for you. Independence is good, especially for women. But when we try to do everything for ourselves, we get too self-focused. Not only do we become preoccupied with our needs that are not being met, but we also shut people out by denying to them that we have a problem and need their help. Being a friend is a gift, but allowing someone to be a friend to you is an even bigger gift.

Friendship is never a burden if it’s true and deep. Sometimes it might be a test, or a difficult passage that friends get through together, but not a burden. I do know what your teacher means, though. It is very much a part of your insight right now that you need to be out in the world. Start with your friends, the people you know, and then fan out. Your friends love you no matter what, and will make a bridge for you into the wider world where people might not be so kind and caring.

The thing about a bridge is that you can move across it in both directions— outward into the world, but also back across into the homeland with your friends. You can visit both sides anytime you want.

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