Beginning Tantra – Women’s Tantric Massage

©2007, RK Silipo. All rights reserved.

Preparation for initiation into Tantra includes developing awareness of the body’s energy field and opening of the Third Eye, deepening spiritual awareness. Yoga is an ideal preparation, particularly Tantric or Kriya yoga traditions.

In western practice, also called Neo-Tantra, massage is frequently a starting point. Body work is very popular in the West, especially in cities where you can usually have your choice of Esalen, Shiatsu, Swedish, Rosen Method or any one of a dozen other types of massage. Usually this type of body work is sought for relaxation and overcoming the stress of daily life.

The goals of Tantric massage are different and are varied, depending on the student, but can be put under two broad general headings: (1) physical awareness and full presence in physical sensation and energy flow through the body, and (b) spiritual awareness, transcendence or a state often shorthanded as bliss.

When I began serious pursuit of Tantra study, I interviewed prospective teachers (and they interviewed me). I had been doing mantra meditation for about thirty years and had periodically book-studied Tantra and tried a few practices. So for my first teacher I chose an apprentice in Western or Neo-Tantra who was studying with well known teachers in this new branch off the old tree.

Thursday, May 9th

My first session with G was wonderful. He is exactly as open, honest and businesslike as he seemed on the phone. He has a marvelous gift for maintaining a professional relationship without being distant or formal.

He’s looking forward to working with both Ewan and me in a session. He’s pleased that our emphasis is on the spiritual aspects of Tantra rather than just the physical.

We began by talking about what I wanted from the session and what my goals are over the next few months. I didn’t really have a goal for yesterday, except to see if I felt he was trustworthy, and, of course, to see if he was any good at massage. I told him I wanted just to begin with the massage, talk as we went along, and flow wherever we were going. He seemed to like my not having any expectations, the first time. He does ask for goals, though, so I guess I need to come up with some.

He began by connecting the chakras. His energy is VERY dynamic, and he gives off heat almost like one of those rub-in creams with menthol! He worked first connecting the base and heart chakras, then the others, right up to the crown. The energy was flowing freely through all chakras when he finished. Then he began the massage.

As he went along, he showed me some of the massage techniques he was using. He did a stroke a few times, then showed me the mechanics of it, then did it again for me. Very good. He focussed on the major joints (shoulders, hips) quite a lot, and on large muscle masses, especially the thighs.

I was completely in my body, aware of every corpuscle, by the time he finished on my back, very relaxed, very body aware, feeling the energy flow very distinctly. He said to take my time, and turn over when I was ready. I felt floaty, not light-headed, but actually as though I was floating in air. The energy was almost a buzz that could be heard. He left the room for a few minutes, and I turned over slowly, feeling very relaxed and warm and letting energy flow.

When he came back, he put one hand on my belly and the other on my heart, and the energy was so intense, it shot through me like an arrow. It came up to my third eye and rolled around in there; and it went down to the base chakra and vibrated. Amazing. My clit began to tingle with the vibration, and I felt surrounded by warmth and movement.

Then he turned down the energy slowly, until there was just a comfortable buzz, and began working on my breasts. He massaged the whole breast, back under the arm to the lymph nodes, and the nipples. It’s almost all flat-handed and is fairly vigorous. I had told him my breasts can be very tender to pressure, and he was very good at applying just the right pressure without my having to stop him even once.

He slowly moved again to place his hands on my solar plexus chakra and heart, continuing slowly to massage the breasts, lightly now, just applying a small bit of pressure with one hand. As he did this, we talked about the process, the energy, etc. He showed me an exercise of connecting the solar plexus to the third eye, with his hand at the back of my head. That chakra is very powerful when you see it as your whole brain, not just the eye itself.

He continued to massage my breasts slowly and began focusing a little, but not completely, on the nipples. He experimented with different strokes and gauged immediately which ones raised the most energy. As he was doing this, he very slowly began moving his hand downward from my belly, less than an inch at a time. He picked his hand up, then placed it again, just a little further down. Each time he was feeling the energy, very conscious of whether I wanted to go there or not.

He placed his hand on my mound, fingers downward, with his middle finger at the top of my slit. He massaged the mound for quite a while, taking all of my responses in. He looked mostly at my face, but also my body movements.

Almost imperceptibly, his finger slid just inside the outer labia. He stopped there for several minutes. Then he slid his finger further inside, and I felt his energy flow get very dynamic again. He found my clit, then rested his fingers there for several minutes. His energy literally vibrated. I could feel it wherever his hands touched flesh. It was a delicious feeling, not excited or aroused in the usual way, the imperative to get to orgasm; but fully aroused and experiencing it for what it was, fully aware and focussed on the energy flow connection he was making.

He began slowly to massage my clit, using a lot of different strokes and observing which ones shot the energy upward into the chakras. He went excruciatingly slowly at first, encouraging me to experience each sensation fully. At the point that he saw orgasm was close, he began to massage more rhythmically, and to touch the head of my clit more. It built to orgasm fairly quickly, and he held me at the crest a couple of times before he brought on a full orgasm. He did that by massaging the head of my clit fairly vigorously until a few moments before, then squeezed my labia closed and vibrated them the last twenty seconds or so.

The orgasm itself was expansive. The energy didn’t just explode, as it usually does; it radiated up my body to my solar plexus, then my heart, third eye and up; then down, into my pelvis, legs and feet. I distinctly felt the energy. It was very clear. It moved both along the surface of my skin and inside my tissues. Pretty amazing. Tantric massage techniques work in a particular way.

After the orgasm, he massaged my whole yoni for a long time, raising the energy and holding it several more times. It felt good to be attended to in that way. Men forget that the whole yoni is sensitive, and that sensation from every part of it feeds into the energy explosion of orgasm.

G withdrew his fingers slowly, in stages, the same as he had done in approaching. Then he rested his hands on solar plexus and heart chakras again, and we talked about the whole massage, how it felt, what I experienced. I lay there for about ten minutes, doing grounding exercises. When I finally stood up, I felt as though I’d slept for hours. I felt light and energized and cradled by Divine energy.

We worked together for a few months; then G and I parted ways. He never gave me a full explanation, but I gathered that he was becoming more involved in a new business outside Tantra. So I searched again. As so often happens when you try to follow Right Action, I was profusely blessed when I met Jia, with whom I developed the true traditional teacher-student relationship. Over several months of working with Jia, I progressed to a traditional initiation in white Tantra. Here, then, is an early session with him.

Jia greeted me with full-body hug, aligning our chakras. Then we sat on the mat in his studio, and he fed me three foods– sweet, salty and bitter, he said, “to awaken Shakti.” We gazed* for about fifteen or twenty minutes, first with hands on each other’s shoulders, then on knees, then palm to palm. After a few light touches on nadis here and there, he motioned for me to undress and gave me the same gorgeous yellow and orange sarong from last time.

He first gave me a full body massage, very energizing first, then relaxing. It must have been about an hour, but I lose all concept of time when we’re working together. He paid particular attention to my breasts, heart chakra and second chakra. I could feel warmth and expansiveness increasing as he touched lightly, moved away and stroked elsewhere on my body, then moved back to my breasts, nipples and mons. He lightly tapped and vibrated my mons, stroking little butterfly touches at the edges of my labia. I could feel the wetness beginning.

He got up slowly and left the room to wash the oil off his hands. When he came back in, he sat next to me, his hand on my heart chakra, and I put mine on his. The energy flow was like lightning! He said very softly, “Now, just stay relaxed. Don’t do anything, just feel the energy. I’ll place your legs and arms, don’t help me unless I say so. Just relax and be.”

He touched nadis again for a few minutes and rested his hand for a moment on my mons, now getting wet from my oozing juices. Then he propped my legs up on pillows, with my whole yoni open to him, and again rested his hand on my mons, lightly caressing my thighs, belly and nipples with the other hand. Then he massaged my yoni very slowly, stroking every millimetre, sliding his fingers along my shaft, but not touching the tip directly. Then his focus started shrinking gradually, shorter strokes, to my opening. He squeezed rhythmically, gently, and stroked, for quite some time before sliding his fingers in and out, just about a half inch at first, then sliding in gradually deeper. He began very gently, slowly, then increased speed and pressure as I opened to him more. It’s the first time I’ve ever actually felt that spongy area expand. I mean, I’ve always known it does, but never felt it happening.

He massaged the Sacred Spot for about forty minutes or so. I orgasmed in waves, really deep orgasms that heated up my whole pelvic region and spread up to my belly, sending energy through all my chakras.

Then he spent almost as much time bringing me back down and getting me grounded as he’d spent on the massage. I lay there drifting for about ten minutes, and Jia sat close to me, comforting with his hand on my belly. When, eventually, I sat up, we talked about how he came to Tantra, some of his experiences and what I’d experienced that day with him.

I found myself saying that I had felt something physically lifted from my body, as a shadow floating straight up, out of me. Also that I felt elation from that, but also had a clear knowledge that it was only the first of many shadows I need to release. He said there are Tantric and Taoist ways to speed the process if I like, but I said the pace I had now seems correct for me for the time being.

The most interesting point was that none of this was about sex. It was about Divine creative energy. Even my orgasms, which were very powerful at the crests, were about the energy, not sexual gratification. It was odd to realize this at first, but, of course, the ENERGY is, in fact, what Tantra is about. Sexual behaviour is only the means –a very pleasant means, absolutely, but ONLY the means– to generate the Divine creative energy of Shakti. By generating this energy correctly, with intention, we can ultimately have union with the Divine. It’s so exciting to be on this trail.

In all of this, the most profound realization is how much my capacity to love is expanding with every single Tantric practice. I love Ewan more every day, anyway. But my heart and soul is open to Jia, my teacher, in an entirely different way. I feel gratitude for knowing him, pleasure and hope in being with him, and desire to be eventually completely open to him, with nothing held back, even unconsciously. By opening up to him, more and more, I share with him that creative energy, more and more. The directness and intimacy of Tantra make possible loving without worrying why, or what might happen, or any of the stupid mind stuff that usually comes up. This love comes from sharing the creative energy, is based in that sharing, and is so much deeper and more complex than any romantic love could ever be.


©2007, RK Silipo. All rights reserved.

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