The Last Time I Saw Kathie

©2008 Ramona K. Silipo. All rights reserved.

This was the third time I’d met Kathie at a café between our houses. Her son Raphael, twelve, was in school. I calmed myself. I didn’t want to get angry.

“My God!” People looked, but I couldn’t help it.  She had a sutured gash above her left eye. With tremendous effort, I lowered my voice. “Did Robert do that?”

“Yeah.” She sighed. No tears, no emotion at all. “I asked Raphael about the dirty magazines. They were his, not Raphael’s. I asked him to keep them at the office and not bring them home. He said he’ll have whatever he wants in his house.” Almost a recitation.

The anger pushed like a fist from my gut upward, nearly choked me. I wanted to scream at her. But with iron self-control, I said, “You’ve got to leave.”

“We’re married. We work together. He pays for everything. I can’t leave.” Her voice was flat, lifeless.

I pushed. “Stay with us as long as you need to.”

“It would be months,” she mumbled.

“That’s OK.”

“It’s too complicated. Raphael’s school is here, and his friends. . . “

”Stay with us,” I repeated, choking back my rage.“I’ll lend you money. I’ll support you however I can if you get out now. I can’t support you if you don’t leave.” Saying it almost killed me, but I was powerless to help her if she couldn’t help herself at least that much.

She stood up and  pulled her sweater tighter around herself. “Then I guess we’re not friends any more.” She left.

My objective is to write fiction that feels completely real –snapshots of life, fleeting moments of insight, unexpected realizations– that sort of thing. I hope you enjoy reading these brief stories.

Iran Awakening, by Shirin Ebadi

Iran Awakening, by Shirin Ebadi

Nobel Peace Laureate (2003) Shirin Ebadi has written a riveting account of her life in Iran, from her childhood (when the Shah was installed by the CIA), to the revolution that brought the Ayatollah to power, and onward to current circumstances in her country.  As a judge, then a lawyer, Ebadi’s life’s work has been defending human rights, particularly for women in Iran;  and striving for peaceful and civil resolutions to violently disputed questions.

When others chose to leave Iran, she chose to stay and fight her non-violent campaign against unjust laws.  A judge when the Ayatollah took over,  she was quickly demoted to file clerk and eventually persuaded to “take early retirement.” She then began practicing law, taking almost exclusively pro bono cases in which human rights and/or civil rights were at the core. She chose cases that allowed her to argue the regime’s repressive interpretations of  points of Islamic law.

Colleagues, friends, even her teenage nephew were arrested, tortured and murdered by the Ayatollah’s forces. Ebadi spent a lot of time thinking about what she would do when (not if,  for she knew she was in danger all the time) her turn came, and reports without any sugar coating what her imprisonment was like.

She carefully shields people she needs to protect, but otherwise is astonishingly practical and direct in her account of what women’s lives have been like in Iran for the past 50 years or so. I found myself wondering over and over, “Why didn’t she just get out?” and wavering between thinking her stupid for staying and courageous for pushing onward.

For me, the most galling and bizarrely fascinating chapter is the last one, which details the chain of evens that led to the book finally being published in the USA after dealing with the American government’s censorship.

The book is well written, with none of the usual stiffness of texts written in one language and translated to another.  I highly recommend it for teenagers and adults. (The descriptions of torture are straightforward and not sensational, and for that reason are all the more disturbing, so it’s not a good book for readers under about 14 years old.)

A Nude Mary Magdalene – Unusual Sculpture in the L’Ouvre

This portrayal of Mary Magdelene is in a small out-of-the-way gallery in the L’ouvre. I was moved by the sadness in her face, and at the same time comforted by her peaceful resignation. It’s also extraordinary because it is a nude. It is carved in wood, apparently from one tree, then burnished, painted and gilded. The workmanship is faultless.

Village Life: Miss Read’s People and Places

©RKSilipo. All rights reserved.

Summer is less than a month away, so I go to my book shelves and check that Miss Read is where I think she is, ready for my annual visits to Fairacre and Thrush Green. I re-visit Caxley as well, but not quite as often.

I love these books and cannot recommend them highly enough. They have grace, wit and insight into what makes village people tick.

I had enjoyed those five years — the children, the little school, the pleasure of running my own school-house and of taking a part in village life. . .

. . . at last, I believed, I was accepted, if not as a proper native, at least as ‘Miss Read up at the School’, and not as ‘that new woman pushing herself forward’!

That’s how, on the first page of her first book, Miss Read, whose real name is Dora Saint, sets the scene for Village School and all of the delicious novels of Fairacre that followed it.

In far too many places in England today, the agreeable habit of taking afternoon tea has vanished.

Much too fattening . . . Quite unneccesary . . .

Taking tea is a highly civilized pastime, and fortunately is still in favour at Thrush Green, where it has been brought to a fine art. It is common practice in that pleasant village to invite friends to tea rather than lunch or dinner. . .

. . . said Ella, who is fond of her food, ‘when else can you eat home-made gingerbread, all squishy with black treacle?’

Thus begins Gossip from Thrush Green, one of my favourites from Miss Read’s other village series.

These are novels of character and place. There are plots, simple, homely plots– well-meaning villagers match making (disastrously) for the single woman happy to be single; the disappearing lead from the church roof and similarly disappearing supplies from a building site; fires and blizzards and other natural and unnatural catastrophes and the ramifications thereof; a bit of adultery here, obfuscation there– all the stuff of village life in the England of the mid 20th century.

It’s the characters, however, that keep me re-reading the books every summer: Dotty’s Collywobbles, a health condition known only in Thrush Green, always makes me smile. Ella and Dimity, two dissimilar friends who bump along compatibly together until, well into middle age, Dimity falls in love with the local rector and starts a new life. Winnie Bailey, the sensible doctor’s widow. Ben Curdle, grandson of the late Mrs. Curdle, owner and iron-fist manager of the travelling carnival that visited the town annuallyfor years. Thrush Green is filled with characters that every village knows.

The same is true for Fairacre, where the stories are narrated by the village school teacher. These focus on the children and the children’s families — which is to say, the whole village — and on Miss Read’s contented single life.

The third series is the Caxley Chronicles, three books covering four generations of two families in the market town of Caxley. These stories are just as beautifully told, and the characters as defly defined, but the stories of village life always interested me more.

These books are beautifully written. When I’m reading one, I am driven to read out sentences to my husband, adding, “Isn’t that an amazing sentence? It flows, it…” We’re both writers and know a unique and skillful turn of phrase when we read one.

Some of the Miss Read books are still in print, and those that aren’t can still be found in second-hand book shops all over England. It’s harder to find them in the States, but these days you can use the internet to order books from all over the world. I recommend

www.greenmetroplis.com

http://powellbooks.com

http://pickabook.co.uk

I avoid Amazon because, by selling magazines that promote dog fighting, they advocate cruelty to animals. The Humane Society of the United States is involved in legal proceedings to get them to stop. In fact, Pickabook has prices that are sometimes lower than Amazon’s. And all paperbacks at Green Metropolis are £3.75.

Bridging In and Out

©2008, RK Silipo. All rights reserved.

Note to a friend:

Self sufficiency is selfish, in that it denies friends the opportunity to care for you. Independence is good, especially for women. But when we try to do everything for ourselves, we get too self-focused. Not only do we become preoccupied with our needs that are not being met, but we also shut people out by denying to them that we have a problem and need their help. Being a friend is a gift, but allowing someone to be a friend to you is an even bigger gift.

Friendship is never a burden if it’s true and deep. Sometimes it might be a test, or a difficult passage that friends get through together, but not a burden. I do know what your teacher means, though. It is very much a part of your insight right now that you need to be out in the world. Start with your friends, the people you know, and then fan out. Your friends love you no matter what, and will make a bridge for you into the wider world where people might not be so kind and caring. The thing about a bridge is that you can move across it in both directions– outward into the world, but also back across into the homeland with your friends. You can visit both sides anytime you want.

Beginning Tantra: Worship Your Shakti

©2008, RK Silipo. All rights reserved.

You’ll find variations of this practice in books on Tantra. This is as it was given to my partner and me by our teachers, Hanna Katz-Jelfs and Martin Jelfs (Transcendence Tantra).

Choose a time when you are rested and alert, and when you will have no interruptions for at least a full hour. The room should be warm, well lit and quiet. In this exercise, you, Shiva (man) will worship your Shakti (woman). There is no talking between you at all. This is a silent practice.

You are both nude for this practice. Shakti takes a position that is relaxed and comfortable for her. You may then re-position her body into a pose you like, but remember that she must be comfortable in that position for 20 minutes.

You then look at her for 20 minutes. Remember, no talking. Look at her from every angle. Look at her face, her shoulders, her breasts, her limbs, her bottom, her belly, her pubis– take in her whole physical presence and being. You’ll probably notice things you’ve never noticed before. Appreciate your Shakti’s uniqueness.

Remember, once she is in the position you want, no more touching, and no talking.

After you have really looked at her for the 20 minutes, still in silence, lie down next to her. Practice carezza* for 40 minutes, or until you drift off to sleep.

This practice can be very powerful in deepening the bond between you, and it can be practical in the sense of Shiva learning to be aroused without needing or wanting to proceed to orgasm.

*Carezza is a technique wherein the man’s penis lies between the woman’s labia or in her yoni without any movement. It works best for some people when the man enters from behind while both partners lie on their sides.

Man-less Pregnancy! (and More!) in Herland

Herland, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman is a book ‘way ahead of its time. Women, particularly young women, will recognize themselves –their thoughts, ideals, dreams for themselves and the world. Men, particularly men born after1960, will scoff at the narrator’s attitudes. Although the premise is a classic hidden utopia tale, there are more than enough plot twists and turns to keep you reading to the end.

Although this is a serious, very thoughtful novel about an all-woman country, Gilman writes with a wicked sense of humour. The book is full of hilarious moments, not least because they are couched in the observations of a twenty-something man of his time (1915). The story never strays from from the important issues Gilman is addressing through her imaginary women’s country, but it’s told with the wisdom of a light touch.

Just a couple of quotes, my favourites from many flagged pages–

[In the context of a courtship in which he can't smooth things over with flowers:]

When a man has nothing to give a woman, is dependent wholly on his personal attraction, his courtship is under limitations.

[In comparing the world's idea of patriotism with the peaceful and productive Herland:]

Patriotism, red hot, is compatible with the existence of a neglect of national interests, a dishonesty, a cold indifference to the suffering of millions. Patriotism is largely pride, and very largely combativeness. Patriotism generally has a chip on is shoulder.

This book is a quick, enjoyable read, a story that fascinates and entertains and makes you think all at the same time. The Shangri-La, lost world elements will appeal to science fiction afficionados as well as fantasy fans. Intelligent teenagers will find it a fun read that also challenges some of their assumptions.

I have a Dover Books Thrift Edition, which was cheap and is very sturdily bound. I’m sure there are editions with critical introductions, discussion topics, etc. available, but I like my Dover Books edition. You can buy it directly from Dover at http://store.doverpublications.com/

or try

www.greenmetroplis.com

http://powellbooks.com

http://pickabook.co.uk

  • I do not buy anything from Amazon because they promote dog fighting. This is not something I want to do; I don’t care how low their prices are. As a matter of fact, Pickabook often has prices lower than Amazon’s. And all paperbacks at Green Metropolis are £3.75.
  • The Humane Society of the United States is involved in legal proceedings to get Amazon to stop selling magazines that advertise tools used to torture animals.  For more information on this issue, click Against Torturing Animals at the top of the list of “Sites to Visit” on the right side of this page.

Christmas stories

One of the best Christmas stories I’ve ever read is No Holly for Miss Quinn, by Miss Read. She wrote two series of novels about English village life, and three novels about life in a small English market town from the turn of the 20th century through the post-WWII period.

I love this book especially for a particular moment during Christmas dinner, when the young boy has a sudden realization about the nature of Father Christmas and in that realization passes from childhood into the world of grown-up secrets.

No Holly for Miss Quinn speaks especially for women who are happily single and enjoy their lives to the full. But it also speaks for the child on the verge of growing up; and for the person who has lonely Christmases; and the person who has too much family at Christmas.

Miss Read, whose real name was Dora Saint, wrote beautifully, especially in her descriptions of nature–the changes of seasons, the activities of birds and animals and the way children interact with the natural world. She also had great insight into the urge to simplify our lives, to leave some of the unnecessary impedimenta behind.

As far as I know, this book is still available in Penguin Books. It’s a quick, happy read.

I hope others will share their favourite Christmas books or stories in the comments box.

©2007, RK Silipo. All rights reserved.