Children’s Anger and Transformation

©2008, Ramona K. Silipo. All rights reserved.

THE PEACE EMPOWERMENT PROCESS
HELPS PEOPLE TRANSFORM VIOLENCE INTO CREATIVITY

The World Wall for Peace transforms the lives of people, children and adults, through the Peace Empowerment Process® (PEP), taught by its creator, Carolyna Marks. The process comprises two distinct sections, the PEP®, and the Blueprint of Emotional Wisdom®. The PEP gives people simple, repeatable techniques which allow them to dissipate anger and the impulse to violent reaction, and to respond to violence or the threat of violence with creative thinking and compassion.

The PEP focuses not on unlimited freedom of the self, but on the free choices available to the whole individual in the context of a vital and responsive community. In many programs, self- esteem is often overemphasized to the detriment of responsibility and service. We are one with other people, and in the PEP self esteem is not emphasized to the exclusion of these things. The objective is for people to grow together; to be interrelated, not singular; to live creative individuality without sacrificing community.

In nearly thirty years of peace work, Carolyna Marks has observed lasting changes in attitudes of both children and adults with whom she has worked building peace walls; and participants who have learned the Peace Empowerment Process relate moving experiences of recognizing the transformations in their own consciousness and emotions.


The listing of Peace Powers, one of the first exercises in the PEP, leads children to redefine, as valuable abilities, qualities often seen as weak or “wimpy.” By writing down and reading them out, children see and own as powerful skills such as listening, drawing, or being persistent. In one school, a very quiet girl at the back of the classroom amazed her teacher by raising her hand, eager to read her list of Peace Powers to the class. The girl had never seen her quietness or her thoughtful nature as powerful until then. The teacher told Ms. Marks that the girl was the shyest child in the class and was literally transformed by learning the PEP.

The Walk-a-Mile exercise opens compassion and empathy. The procedure is to pair off from the circle and listen very closely to the story of another person’s experience; then return to the group and become the other person, to relate your partner’s story in the first person. In a recent PEP workshop, an African American man and a sixteen year old Chinese boy were partners.

The boy related that he had come to the United States when he was about five. He said that, although his whole family, seven children and his parents, all lived in one room, they were a close, happy family, even though they were poor. His father, who regularly went out with friends on Saturday night, one night went out as usual, and was shot and killed in an argument with his friends. It completely changed the boy’s life: He began to steal and was arrested, but fortunately was placed in a program, in which he learned from career prisoners what it would be like if he did end up in jail. The experience woke him up and started him back toward a more constructive life.

The African American man had been raised in minister’s family, and rebelled dramatically against his father as a young man. As he matured, however, he found great respect for and began to understand the power of his father’s ministry and ideals. The black man and the Chinese boy were from a neighborhood where friction between their two races was a daily fact of life. But they bonded instantly and intimately when they realized their experiences of loss and family conflict were not all that different from one another. Both had a fundamental change of attitude through experiencing the other’s story.

In working with the second component of the PEP, the Blueprint of Emotional Wisdom®, children learn to look at their emotions and identify the source of their anger. Marks’ work is based largely on the concept that underlying all violent actions is anger; and under anger are fear, guilt and grief or disappointment.

In one PEP session, children began spontaneously to share their grief by telling stories about the deaths of dogs and cats, grandparents, an aunt. They were very emotional stories, filled with anger, fear and guilt. Soon a wave of tears swept through the room. Everyone was crying because the schoolroom had suddenly become a safe place for them to express their feelings. The teacher reported that for the next several days the children were extraordinarily kind to each other. One boy had a foster sister who had died, and didn’t know what to do with his feelings about it. After this PEP training he decided to draw and write about it. Children do make creative choices when they have permission not to be violent.

For more information on the World Wall for Peace, go to www.wwfp.org. Marks’ book, Creativity in the Lion’s Den, is available from the organization.

Beginning Tantra – The Jewel in the Lotus

Yoga is the science of expanding Consciousness. The Eastern view of the nature of humankind is very different from the Western. In the East, they see the human essence at one with God and with the Universe. They understand that ultimately we can access that Universal Intelligence or Consciousness that supports life in the Universe.

That’s the first paragraph in a book that is widely considered a Tantric classic, The Jewel in the Lotus, by Sunyata Saraswati and Bodhi Avinasha.

Tantra Yoga is the Sexual Path, a vast and ancient system of rituals and practical techniques which use the great creative energy of sexual passion to propel you into higher consciousness. The rites and rituals are very powerful . . . Tantra is not a license for sexual abandon, as the practice requires great discipline.

This book details some of the basic “secrets” of Tantric Kriya Yoga. It is clearly written, with good diagrams and illustrations, and its foundation is the spiritual path of Tantra.

But books won’t do it all for you. They are a good beginning, and a reasonable substitute if you can’t find a teacher near where you live, but ultimately you will need to find a teacher to guide you to Tantric initiation.

Until you find that teacher, you can’t do better than The Jewel in the Lotus (publ. 1987, Ipsalu Publishing and widely available).

Beginning Tantra – Two Books for a Start

©2008, Ramona K. Silipo. All rights reserved.

The best book about Tantric initiation that I’ve ever read, and I’ve read dozens, is Tantric Quest: An Encounter with Absolute Love, by Daniel Odier. First hand experience is always the best teacher, and this book is an intimate, detailed and thrilling account of Odier’s own initiation into Tantra. The book is accurately titled, because he did set out on a quest, and he ultimately found his teacher, and the experience that he shares in his book is moving, exciting and inspiring. Although it’s a man’s story, the principles and practices we read about in the story apply to women as well, and the book is so exciting, I re-read it immediately.

For a completely different approach and view of tantra, Tantric Love, by Ma Ananda Sarita and Swami Anand Geho is a visually stunning book and is filled with fundamental teachings and detailed descriptions of Tantric practice that you can easily follow. The introduction included this message, which is, I think, one of the most important elements of Tantra:

“It is possible to enter the Tantric path from wherever you are. If you are angry, you can use your anger as a meditation. If you are full of passion, you can use that too . . . If you bring acceptance and consciousness to what you experience, it will automatically be transformed into its divine aspect.”

This book gives you ancient principles and concepts in a Western context and vocabulary, but without losing the spiritual and ethereal aspects of Tantric tradition. There are also detailed and beautifully illustrated instructions for chakra massage, varied forms of meditation and simple Tantric practices. If you follow this book closely and with intention, it is possible to experience some of the fundamental wisdom and great joy of Tantra.

Tantric Massage – A Great Book

For those who were inspired by my posts on Tantric massage, I recommend the following book for further reading. It gives you much to think about and to try out. Having carefully gone through my Tantra library and reviewed the many books I have on Tantric massage, I find this the best, both for its clear text and its excellent illustrations:

Tantric Massage, the Erotic Touch of Love, by Kenneth Ray Stubbs, with Loise-Andree Saulnier. Illustrated by Kyle Spencer. (publ. 1989, 1993, 1995, Rider Books imprint of Random House)